Recently, there was a discussion on the topic of how we show up in the world. It was in a mastermind group I joined. It’s with a photographer/entrepreneur whom I respect. It was the first day of our meeting and we went over why the handful of us want show up big.
I usually wait to be the last one to speak, its a habit I picked up through leadership courses I’ve taken. I also take a bit of time to think of what I want to say. As people begun to ask their questions, make comments, and share their journeys. I realized something…
One of the hardest things in my life has been figuring out who I am. Then, once done, to share the realest version of oneself. This can be to my mini world via community, social media, or your workplace.
As I begin to reach my mid-30s, I realize that I’m shedding old beliefs. There are also parts of myself that I am remembering. There are parts I shut away. I thought I had to keep this buttoned up version of myself to fit in with the world. To “be” someone in this machine of capitalism. I wanted everyone to like me and if I felt someone didn’t, I’d get depressed, and think to myself “Am I not good enough?”. I would go into a self-worth spiral.
It’s a sad world to live in that I have felt this way, thanks social media and news. It’s a thought I hear from many people too, so I'm not alone. It’s the idea of the millionaire whose jealous because he/she meets a guy that has 10 million. Now they get the "keeping up with the joneses" bug and have to make the 10 mil. It’s this consistent uneasiness. It simmers below the surface. The thought of, "there is always someone better out there" haunts us. The feeling that we're inadequate.
I’m here to stomp that. I’ve been victim to this feeling for too long. I hear it when people talk with me behind the worlds they say. These are people who work great jobs, have businesses, and are successful in the eyes of many people. Yet society has created this unease through marketing, ads, social media, entertainment.
"You’re not strong enough" - so let's sell you products and easy fixes to lose that belly fat. Oh, you don’t think you’re pretty enough. Here’s a store with 250 different kinds of makeup to mask your true face. Oh, you’re aging? Great here’s some botox and face lifts to help you look younger. Oh, you want to get big and look like Thor, cool take all these supplements and some steroids and you’ll be “fit” in no time.
It’s this feeling of inadequacy that creates the illusion of not enough. That is what big corporations prey upon. It’s what gets us to buy the next thing. It’s also why some of us, me included, want to grab big follower numbers and have people to look up to us. I’m willing to admit that and continue forward in building my personal brand. We get caught up and forget very important aspects of ourselves.
What did you want to be when you grew up? When you were 5 years old, what did you enjoy most? What did you spend most of your youth doing? Was it playing games? Creating stories? Did you have a fascination with cars? A specific sport? What was it?
In “Mastery”, Robert Greene states that this usually becomes our zone of genius. Look at the greats like Tiger Woods or the Williams sisters. They are very talented but had put MANY years of work to become great.
For me it was creating these elaborate stories. I used my action figures, played with friends, and played (A LOT) of video games. I always wondered why Mario had to go save Princess Peach from Bowser. I wondered about Cloud’s identity journey in Final Fantasy 7. I wondered about the characters and their motives. I wanted to be a hero of my own story. Which I continue to do now, through these words. So, I can look back and say “Ah, so that’s what you thought back then”. My beliefs will grow, shift, change, and elevate. If I stay stagnate, I’m doing something wrong with life.
You think this is why people have mid-life crisis? They live this life they thought was perfect. To then find out in 15-20 years post-college that it wasn’t what they wanted. And in recent years, that year gap is shortening. From my experience most people are having a quarter life crisis and a mid - mid - life crisis!
So, let's do best to combat that from happening. We need more brave and courageous creatives in this world. We need more people in their zone of genius to elevate human - kind, even the smallest of ways.